Monday, February 21, 2011

Why I Advocate for Homebirth

I have come to realize in a very real way that my opinions on birth don't just effect me. They effect my child, my friends, my family, and my clients. Some entirely unintended effects are that some of my friends feel they can't talk to me and some of my clients feel they failed me or feel judged by me if they don't have an unmedicated or homebirth. I hope this post can clarify my thoughts. I advocate for homebirth not because I feel it is the only true choice or because I think homebirth mothers are somehow superior. I advocate for homebirth because I care a lot about my friends and clients. It is out of protection and love that I wish a homebirth for you. A place where you will be honored simply because you are a woman embarking on this amazing and challenging journey, a place where you can have moments of weakness and not be rescued, a place where you will be respected for your choices no matter what they are, a place where you will be surrounded by women who will empathize with you and support your innate strength and ability to bring your baby into this world, a place where your baby will be treated as a human being and will be handled gently with love, a place where at least this birth assistant will have tears in her eyes from the sheer awe that comes with every woman's birth triumph and love for her new baby....this place is your home.




My own birth is one which most of my friends know was very disempowering, disrespectful, unfulfilling, and at times traumatic. If mine were the exception in the many hospital births I've attended, I could get past it, but it isn't. I have attended similar births over and over. Women are sold short by their care providers over and over. Women are not given all the information they need to make the best decisions for themselves and their babies over and over. Mothers are separated from their babies for absolutely no good reason over and over. Women are treated as weak, unintelligent burdens over and over.




I have the sometimes unfortunate ability to feel other people's emotions as my own. Every time a friend or client has a negative or traumatic birth experience, I feel it. When it doesn't work out the way they had hoped and they are filled with guilt, sadness and regret, I feel it. What gets difficult for me is feeling it so often. So you see it isn't judgement that I am feeling, it is a deep sadness that you didn't get what you deserved.




I understand that not every woman can birth safely at home, and I mourn for them, not because they have to go to the hospital, but because they don't get a choice. I also understand that not every woman feels safe giving birth at home, and I mourn for them as well, again not because they have to go to the hospital, but because society and the media have taken away their ability to choose. This is not to say that women cannot have a satisfying and positive birth experience in the hospital. They can and they do. Every time a friend or client chooses the hospital for their birth, I hope against hope that it will be everything they hoped for and more. And if, for some reason, it isn't, I will be there to support them and hold their hand through the tears that will eventually come, not judging, just feeling their pain.


So my sincere wish for every woman is, at the very least, to witness a gentle, loving, respectful, joyful homebirth. I wish this because I want every woman to know what is possible. Then they can make a truly informed decision on where the best place is to have their baby.




Please go to this amazing blog post that accurately represents my doula and birth philosophy. I couldn't have said it better myself. http://http//phdoula.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-want-my-friends-to-know.html

5 comments:

Sheri Uhrig said...

I'm so glad you're blogging again! You put into words how I feel too!

Sheri Uhrig said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yuliya said...

well said, I am happy to be reading your words here.

Reno Midwifery said...

You are almost convincing me to blog:)

Jennifer said...

You're my hero as well! Beautifully written. I wish all women understood how powerful they are.