Friday, May 27, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
My own birth is one which most of my friends know was very disempowering, disrespectful, unfulfilling, and at times traumatic. If mine were the exception in the many hospital births I've attended, I could get past it, but it isn't. I have attended similar births over and over. Women are sold short by their care providers over and over. Women are not given all the information they need to make the best decisions for themselves and their babies over and over. Mothers are separated from their babies for absolutely no good reason over and over. Women are treated as weak, unintelligent burdens over and over.
I have the sometimes unfortunate ability to feel other people's emotions as my own. Every time a friend or client has a negative or traumatic birth experience, I feel it. When it doesn't work out the way they had hoped and they are filled with guilt, sadness and regret, I feel it. What gets difficult for me is feeling it so often. So you see it isn't judgement that I am feeling, it is a deep sadness that you didn't get what you deserved.
I understand that not every woman can birth safely at home, and I mourn for them, not because they have to go to the hospital, but because they don't get a choice. I also understand that not every woman feels safe giving birth at home, and I mourn for them as well, again not because they have to go to the hospital, but because society and the media have taken away their ability to choose. This is not to say that women cannot have a satisfying and positive birth experience in the hospital. They can and they do. Every time a friend or client chooses the hospital for their birth, I hope against hope that it will be everything they hoped for and more. And if, for some reason, it isn't, I will be there to support them and hold their hand through the tears that will eventually come, not judging, just feeling their pain.
So my sincere wish for every woman is, at the very least, to witness a gentle, loving, respectful, joyful homebirth. I wish this because I want every woman to know what is possible. Then they can make a truly informed decision on where the best place is to have their baby.
Please go to this amazing blog post that accurately represents my doula and birth philosophy. I couldn't have said it better myself. http://http//phdoula.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-want-my-friends-to-know.html
Friday, August 15, 2008
Upon arrival she was ushered into the dressing room to don her first outfit and then sent to hair and make-up. Funny thing is, they decided her hair was so cute that she didn't need hair, just make-up. Now I'm not sure if that is because it really was cute or because the mane on her head is daunting, having sent hair dressers running, fearing for their lives. Combing it out takes up to 45 minutes when we haven't been religious about combing it and the amount of product required to tame it is mindblowing. So I guess we'll never know. I'll just take it as a compliment. Make-up was very light and quick.
Ahhhhh.... I didn't think she could get any more beautiful than she already was. I was wrong
One outfit change later and even more gorgeous.
Even models have their moments.
I will attempt to post the video from the fashion show scheduled for tomorrow, something I have yet to figure out how to do.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Before: two crazy teeth
10 Minutes Later: One down, one to go
After: 5 minutes later, one extremely happy, screaming toothless wonder
It's funny how, as a parent, you anxiously await the milestones only to realize afterwards that there is one more thing you will never again experience with them. Proof that they are one step closer to being grown and gone. I am so thankful that I was not at a birth or at school. We got to share a very special moment that I am sure she won't soon forget. A ray of light in a week full of clouds. Hopefully it will be a fond memory that will help her through the times when I'm not able to be there. I have one very tough, brave girl who I know will continue to make me proud every day.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Round two came in Washington state this week at school. Part of the education I am receiving includes political issues surrounding midwifery. It is an invaluable part of the program. I spent an entire day with midwives, instructors, student midwives, and midwifery consumers meeting with state senators and representatives to help gather support for a midwifery related bill. Embarrassingly, I have no idea who my representatives are, nor did I know that I could just make an appointment and talk with them. I can't say that before midwifery I had much to talk to them about. I have been fairly absent when it comes to knowing local issues.
I was impressed with the knowledge, tenacity and patience of these women who have come before me, the ones who have opened, and will continue to open, the door for me. I plan to help nudge it open a little further. I have now been bitten by the political bug, and have no idea where that will take me or what it might mean. I think it means I am in for a long, exhausting haul. With no licensing or regulation in the state of Nevada, and many who prefer it stay that way, I'm not sure what the future holds. What I do know is that I want to be part of that future, whatever it may bring.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
And then something entirely unexpected happened. A nurse-midwife was attending the birth, and as soon as she got there things began to change. She turned the lights WAY down, took the monitors off to respect the mom's wishes for intermittent monitoring and had a nurse hold it on every other contraction. She brought the level of the room way down. She did the most amazing instruction and perineal support during crowning that my jaw literally dropped. I might even have said "Holy shit!" under my breath. The baby got to go right to mom's chest where she was left for at least an hour. It was the closest thing I have ever seen to a homebirth in the hospital. No meds, no wires, no harassing of the mom. I cried as usual and was just grateful that I got to be there and help out in whatever minuscule way I could. Births make me outrageously happy. School administrators are a whole different story....