So, it's the recap everyone has been waiting for. I wasn't quite sure how to approach this entry because it's a little schizophrenic. It had some amazingly fun elements, profoundly life changing moments, and some eerily strange happenings. It is such an all encompassing experience, where to begin, where to begin? I think I will share the experience in pieces and add pictures as they become available.
It started the minute we drove up. I thought I could ease in to the experience given my modest leanings, but NO. I arrived on "Naked Greeter Day"! As we drove up it began to dawn on me that the nice man handing out maps and searching your car for stow aways was entirely nude except for his hiking boots and sunglasses. I'm not sure if any of you have had a friendly nonchalant conversation with a completely nude stranger, but surreal doesn't quite cover it. Surreal covers one of my classmates publicly removing a cervical cap we had just fitted her with as we all yelled our best tips for removal. Strangers are another story.
So I am trying to figure out a way to get out of the line I'm in to get to one with a clothed greeter, and my friend (who is amused beyond belief at this point) says "Sweetie, they're all naked." I manage to quell my panic attack by thinking "For God's sake it's only a penis. You have seen one before." I pull up and our very personable greeter hands us our map and activity book, gives us some good advice about survival and then asks if this is our first time to Burning Man. This is an important question. It is important because if someone rats you out as a first-timer you will be made fun of publicly. I was ratted out, so I ratted out the friends in the car behind us.Public humiliation is best done with friends. I was forced to get out of the car with the friendly naked man and my two friends, all the while looking strategically from naked man's neck up. The boys were forced to roll around in the dirt (I declined this portion) and then we had to yell at the top of our lungs "I'm not a Fucking virgin anymore!" and then ring a bell by hitting it with a bat. Don't try to do it quietly because you will be forced to do it over and over until you scream it.
Let the games begin.
1 comment:
This sounds like quite an adventure :). I had to tell my 2yo what her clitoris was the other day - she pointed to it specifically and asked and I didn't feel like I could shirk that one - and it was quite the interesting test of where my comfort level is (this was definitely beyond it, but clearly I survived...).
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