Thursday, October 11, 2007
Disappointment All Around
Had a mom transfer in to the hospital tonight. First-timer with a breech and understandably she couldn't take the pain with the lack of progress. I'm disappointed that I missed another birth. Disappointed that this woman that I really liked didn't get the birth she originally wanted. Disappointed because this nice, uninsured couple will now have a ridiculous hospital bill to add to the financial stress of a new baby. A small selfish part of me is disappointed that I spent hours that don't count towards requirements because they could have been spent with my own child. I know what I have signed on for and that it is all a part of midwifery, but I am also realizing what a luxury it would be to be a single, young, childless midwifery student (who is also independently wealthy-and believe it or not I know someone who fits that bill). The irony is that if Ididn't have my daughter, I probably wouldn't be doing this. So off to bed I go to wait for baby #2 and hope the others "in the window" subconciously decide to politely take turns.
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2 comments:
I'm going to be wildly insensitive - it's my birthday and I'm a touch pissy - and say that your (only a little bit in labor) client was soft. If you want to birth a breech baby vaginally I tend to think that you are either all in (so to speak) or you arent. Sounds like she wasn't. I hope her choices were ones she feels good about (the $25,000 surgical bill aside).
Take heart in the fact that your DD was sound asleep for most of the time you were absent, right? I find this to be quite soothing. I get to do a lot of my midwifey stuff while my family sleeps. Makes for less mummy guilt.
Yay for the blog updates!!
BTW. Who is Freeze? Do you know this fella?
Yes I know Freeze. He is a friend and great husband to a friend of mine. For some reason he wants to punish himself by reading a midwifery related blog. I didn't realize it was your birthday until a few moments ago and I sent you a little something on facebook. I'm sorry I was self-absorbed and didn't call you. Hope you had some good margaritas. You'll need them to survive 30, but it gets easier every year after that.
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